The first Lord Platelunch was knighted by the Queen for ‘for outstanding service to the Empire in placing food on a plate & for bravery in leading the retreat from an overwhelming enemy army.” He led the charge away from the battlefield with incredible energy. He ran so fast that his men soon lost him in the distance. In fact, he had already eaten and left for home by the time everyone else made it back to the rendezvous point. Today, the Platelunches still proudly tell the story of our ancestor every chance we get.
The succeeding generations lived for years outside the capital, but inside a house. Despite the title, the family fortune rose and fell with the abilities of the current Lord. The lowest point came when the 5th Lord Platelunch gambled away most of his money betting on the horses. Unfortunately he repeatedly bet against Charley Horse, who kept winning by a hair.
As the current Lord Platelunch I try to live up to the family name. It is an honor that I take very seriously, as I mix in the best circles of society. I’ve eaten fine cuisine in the best houses in Europe. Though I didn’t finish some meals due to the homeowners returning unexpectedly.
Today, the Islands are my home. Where else are people suspicious of a man who doesn’t walk around shirtless & barefoot and drive an old, dented car? Yes, it’s refreshing to be the only pretentious person around.
Here we have a more personal form of seeking political office. The sight of candidates standing by the road and waving to cars is a common one. This tradition has a way of drafting new blood into the races, though.
Once, I accidentally ran for Mayor when I tried to hail a cab for an hour by Ala Moana. If that guy in the pickup hadn’t given me a ride, I might’ve won, too. Curse his Aloha spirit!