After examining all sides, I realized that there was an answer. An unconventional one, but an answer, nonetheless. Many of the concerns from the protester side revolved around a belief that the SuperFerry’s traveling between Islands would affect or hurt the environment, including a possible collision with aquatic life. My idea: take the ‘Aqua’ out of the equation.

That’s right. I propose that the SuperFerry be launched off a giant slingshot from Oahu, or whatever Island it’s ported on any given day, ’slingin’ it through the air between the departure port and its destination.

The destination port will contain 1 of 2 options:

1. A net to catch the SuperFerry.

2. A SuperFerry sized enclosed area full of soft foam, similar to those used in gymnastic training or movie stunts.

Think of it - no whales or other ocean fauna to worry about. It’s a textbook example of thinking ‘differently’. The kind of thinking we need in the 21st Century.

Testing this will be cheap and easy to do. Instead of paying for a hugely expensive and lengthy scientific study, we’ll advertise it as an ‘Extreme Sport’. Our less intelligent brethren will happily sign away all rights to sue or complain.

Appeals will include telling them that participating in this boat-slingshot will ‘rule’ and ‘chicks will totally love you if you do it’. I foresee a surplus of volunteers if this message is delivered in just the right tone. We just can’t use any difficult vocabulary, such as words with more than 2 syllables.

We can even sell rights to academic research labs. There will certainly be great interest in studying the effects of intense acceleration on ‘Dudes’.
Currently I am awaiting word from both sides about my proposed solution. I am very optimistic and will keep you all updated as we make progress.

My Uncle was once 1/2 of a famous comedy team. They were big business in Chile and Luxembourg. And don’t get me started on the accolades that rained down on them in a couple of streets in Quebec City.
He and his partner worked in the great tradition of comedy duos, like Abbot & Costello, Laurel & Hardy and Barnes & Noble. They never reached the height of the industry, but they did make the width. And though they never made feature films they did have one rabid fan who made a flip-book of some of their routines using sketches he did of them.

My Uncle remained in a coma most of the time I was with him. He would occasionally blurt out old lines from his act. “Yes, but only if you get the Enchilada Plate!” he’d suddenly say. Or “If I could do that, I’d be running for City Alderman!” he’d yell. It made me wish his former partner could be there. His old comedy team-mate is, coincidentally, also in a coma. I could imagine the two of them reunited - lying side by side in hospital beds, unconsciously reliving the old days:

“I outside at the park yesterday. And boy, was it hot!”

“How hot was it?”

“It was so hot, I had to roll down the window on my motorcycle!”

And then we would all laugh while the two men laid there in a stupor, the hilarity broken only by the beeping of their life support machines. If only that dream could come true.

My Uncle is still in a coma as I write this, but he’s doing fine. I’ve hooked up his IV and feeding tube to one of those pet-feeding timers. He never misses a meal. I do hope to visit him again soon, but right now I feel the call of the Islands and must stay.

Besides, I used up all my Miles going out there, so it’ll probably be a while before I venture out again. It’s good to be home.

While my schedule is keeping me too busy to blog fully, I thought I’d pass on some ideas for keeping ‘local’ alive. You may want to print them out or even write them down. I find writing things down helps me to remember them better and longer.

Here’s the link to the list of ideas you can integrate into your daily life here in the Islands:

Ideas to keep Local alive

I thought I’d continue with some of my history Not just so I could talk about myself, but also because it shows how much the Islands have changed. I can remember it like it was only a couple of weeks before yesterday.
I was only a small child on the day when our plane broke through the clouds and dived down to the runway.  The sight of Diamond Head from my window seat is something I will never forget.

In those days you walked off the plane right onto the tarmac. Depending on where your plane finally stopped, you might be picked up by a bus that took you on a quick  trip to the terminal.

We were greeted by the sound of beautiful Hawaiian music played by a band in matching Aloha wear. Pure magic to a child. The number of planes coming in during those years was much smaller so all arrivals were given a pineapple and a pound of sugar to start their visit off right. Anyone who refused them was immediately put on the next plane back to the Mainland. Those were the days.
We took a taxi into Waikiki to our hotel. It was very small, right on the beach. It was dark when we arrived so it wasn’t until the next day that we realized we’d accidentally checked into some guy’s tent. I still don’t know where exactly the bathroom was in there. I just know I used it that night. Some things are better left alone.

After we cleared up that mess, we made our way to a real hotel. That didn’t go much better. We were thrown out in the middle of the night by a developer who had just bought the place. He wanted to tear down the place and start building a new hotel immediately. We had the choice of helping to knock out the supporting walls or leaving. We made our way back to the beach and greeted the new day from there.
I’ll tell a little more of the story later. I have a trip to Maui to get ready for. If I can find time to blog from there, I will do so.

Aloha

Our Island life is being sped up everywhere except in traffic. Local families are being priced right out of housing and now must leave Hawaii or live on the beach. Our efforts are intended to try to lighten the load a little, remembering that being local also means taking care of locals.

“Thank you for taking time out from your work to talk to us today, Mr. Belli. It must be very exciting to have discovered this untouched Pharaoh’s tomb.”

“Absolutely. It’s a great feeling to see all your hard work finally paying off. It took a lot of patience for me to wait at my hotel downtown for these lazy workers to dig through all that rock. But, like I told them – getting there is half the fun!”

“Right. I understand we will be witnessing the opening of the tomb today. This is truly a historic occasion. Who knows what treasures will be found. Any worries about a Curse like the one with the King Tut dig?”

Of course I’m worried, so we’re taking it very seriously. In fact, at this very moment, we have a SWAT team going into the tomb first to ensure our safety. We’re not taking any chances.”

“A SWAT team?!? Are you insane?!?! What’s going on?”
[Sound of explosions, yelling in the background]

“It’s okay. They took the precaution of throwing in flash bombs to knock any undead off-balance. The battering ram has broken through so they’re going in now.”
[Sounds of smashing, breaking, gunfire, mass destruction in an enclosed space]

“But…those are priceless artifacts in there!! They’re being destroyed!!”

“Like I said, we’re not taking any chances. We put people’s safety first. If that makes me a caring human being, then I plead guilty. Maybe you need to rethink your priorities, sir!”

“You ARE AN IDIOT!!”
[ Sound of interviewer beating Belli with microphone]
END TAPE

As they say here in the Islands: dat Belli, he one lolo buggah!

I’ll have to close now – I can smell the huli huli chicken down the street. I’ll have to send my chauffeur to bring it back here.
- Honey! I need you to go get some of that chicken for me!
-
Aloha